I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
