oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They took my balls.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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