For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
