You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
