Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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