I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
