You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
