Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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