haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
