So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you made out with another girl for some wings
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
