1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
did you just send me my own nude
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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