Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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