Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
