It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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