I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
