I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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