look no pants
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just had sex on a roof
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
