is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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