Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She told me I should be a condom model.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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