Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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