3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
