What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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