they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
