Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
