I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I party with great urgency now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
