Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
