He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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