oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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