last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
