I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
