I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
