remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
