wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just google imaged poop.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
