Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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