upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
