Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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