operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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