I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
