I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
