All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
