i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
