Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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