Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Randomize