he shaved USA in his pubs
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
