what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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