...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
