captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
