and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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