If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
