just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
