i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize