im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
