Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
