What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
